Follow Your Own Advice

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I hope you are all doing well this wonderful Saturday. I am great, preparing to do some things that I enjoy and I hope you are doing the same.  The purpose of today’s blog was to share my heart about a topic that is not often focused on. Have you ever heard the statement, “Follow Your Own Advice?”  I hear people say it loosely when instructing others, but how often do we actually apply it. 

Like other clinicians, I am a change agent, so I assist individuals with finding their strength within, how to obtain tools to improve their quality of life and also help them to realize that they can live their whole best life.  With that being said, I realized recently that I have not been following my own advice. Well, not fully at least.  I know for a fact, that I am not alone.  There are many who give the best advice and encouragement yet find it difficult to put it into practice. 

It is one of those things that can be considered by a nay-sayer, “as easier said than done.” However, I am of the mindset that if we actually believe in what we are saying to others, then we have the obligation to ourselves to apply the same actions.  It is our responsibility to make sure that we are following our own advice.

You owe it to yourself, to serve yourself first. It is not selfish. It can be considered a form of self-care and growth within.  If you are truly committed to applying the principles shared to your own life, greater is your message to others when they can witness you in action mode.  So, today, I encourage you to live out your best life by following your own advice.  Have a great day!!!!

If you would like to hear more motivational messages, feel free to follow me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter @myselahwellness

To view my video on this blog, visit the My Selah Wellness YouTube Channel


The Power of Movement

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When we think of movement, we think of the ability to shift from one place to another.  For me, movement means the ability to progress one step, one minute, one moment, or even one task at a time. Taking a look over my life, I realize that I have never stopped moving despite the many obstacles or challenges that have come my way.  People often thought I was running from something, hey, at times I thought the same.  However, over time, I realized my movement was done to ensure that I never became complacent or stuck in a situation.

What I am talking about is not to take away from moments when one must stand still to bask in a situation or to be able to process what their next step should be. I am solely focusing on the ability to keep moving. 

To keep moving when we do not feel worthy of the next opportunity and think it is best to stop.

To keep moving when someone criticizes our actions.

To keep moving when we feel like we are the only ones interested in our next venture.

To keep moving when hope is trying to escape us.

To keep moving when others are attempting to pull all life from us.

To keep moving when it seems like you have run out of options and do not know what to do and where to turn.

To keep moving despite the fear…..keep moving until the fear dissipates.

My point is that whatever you feel, experience, encounter, and endure should never be given so much power that it stops you completely.  I am a firm believer that if God has given you a gift and skill set to touch others, let that important piece of knowledge be the push to get and keep you moving. 

It is great when we have others who can encourage us to move, but in those moments when it is just you, your thoughts, and your faith, please keep moving and believe.  Movement does not always mean that you feel your best, but it means that you are moving towards wholeness.    

I write this today as one who continues to move despite my circumstances. I hope this is encouragement to keep moving despite whatever the reason.  KNOW that on the other side of movement is VICTORY.  Have Faith and believe in the Power of Movement. 


Journey to Positive

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Today, I just wanted to check in and encouraging my readers to find the positive in life.  Throughout our lives, we embark on many changes that impact our thoughts and perceptions.  It is common that once we encounter a negative experience, that it has the power to shift our thinking into a negative state of mind causing us to see several following events with a negative lens.  Meaning that, regardless of the positive nature of a following event, one may only see it from the negative view.  It is as if a person’s vision has been blurred making it difficult to see a clear picture.   

When this happens, it is helpful to challenge ones view and perception about a matter.  The process of challenging those views, include identifying why one may have a negative perception of a situation.  The process also means that you have to find the positive, the good, and the highlight of what one is experiencing.  It is actually the power of reframing. Reframing is the ability to take a negative thought and change it into a positive one with the changing of our thoughts, our behavior and our words.  The words we speak have power. So, I encourage you to change your language, change your thoughts, and think more positively.  Challenge yourself today, you will not be disappointed. 


The Benefits of Journaling


As a teenager I can recall begging for a journal with a lock and key. This meant that I could write my deepest secrets and then lock them away so that my family could not read them.  Once I got the journal, which is exactly what I did. I wrote, and wrote and wrote some more, then locked it and hid the key.  This was my time to get my thoughts onto paper, thoughts that I did not feel I could share with anyone.  Well, over the years, I would get a new journal annually. It became so important to me that I started buying and gifting journals to friends, family members and church members with their names engraved on them with a scripture or a positive quote.  Even then, I saw it as something so personal, not realizing that journaling had the ability to meet needs in other areas of my life. 

Fast forward to the 2000’s. I still cannot walk away from a pretty and colorful journal.  Maybe, I no longer get them engraved, but journaling is still a big part of my life.   It is also a major part of the interventions I introduce in private practice.  As a clinician, I have the opportunity to meet with men and women who are diagnosed with depression, anxiety, PTSD, and adjustment disorder.  When I hear that they are unable to sleep at night, feel as if their thoughts are unorganized when stressed, and that they do not feel like they are able to focus during the day, I begin to assess what their coping skills look like in regards to how they manage themselves.  When I ask about journaling, I often get the response, “yeah, I have a journal but I do not use it consistently.”  This right here is where I issue the challenge to journal. 

In 2018, we have come a long way. Journaling can be done by writing, typing or audio recording. So, there are options that I present to clients when I issue the challenge to journal for one week straight.  I make no promises that this works for everyone, because it does not. However, for many it has increased their ability to function. 

Here are 4 things you should know about journaling:

  1. It can be cathartic meaning stress relieving. When you write you are releasing stress and allowing your body and mind to come to a place of relaxation and calmness.  This can also be done with crocheting, drawing or even painting.

  2. It can be considered the Data Dump of your mind by choosing to journal about your events, stress, dreams and goals.  Imagine turning over a basket filled with paper and other unwanted items into a larger can.  This is what happens when you begin journaling you are getting all of your thoughts, worries and ideas onto paper. A place that can properly hold it.  The key to this is not seeing it as garbage, but as a place holder for your thoughts in case you need to go back and review as needed. You do not have to hold it all in your head. 

  3. It can be daily, every other day, or even weekly. Whatever you choose remember to be consistent.

  4. Knowing when to journal is very important.  It can be done at any time during the day, but it is most beneficial to do it right before going to bed.   It is your late night data dump if you will, allowing you to begin your sleep journey with a clear mind waking up more refreshed.  If there are no struggles with your sleep pattern, then journaling at any time during the day would be fine for you.  However, if you find that you struggle with falling and remaining asleep due to flooding of thoughts, then journaling right before bed might be the best solution for you. 

As a result of journaling consistently, you will find that it impacts your emotional and physical well-being.   The process of journaling can improve sleeping, concentration, mood and mindset.  So, you can see that it is more than just getting your thoughts on paper (under lock and key), it is about releasing the stress and flood of thoughts that impact functioning.  Journaling can be whatever you need it to be, but know it is a super gift to a better way of addressing symptoms and stress.  I encourage you to take the challenge as well in hopes of an improved way of doing things.  Make a commitment to your health and see the benefits for yourself.  Selah.  

Disclaimer: This blog on journaling does not in any way imply that journaling replaces medication management that one may need to assist with addressing other symptoms. 

Watch Out for Feelings!!!


Good Day!!!! Have you ever had one of those days when you wake up feeling like  you can conquer the world and have a plan to do so? Well, it is was kind of like that for me yesterday morning. However, as the day passed, I noticed my spunk and my joy kind of settling way beneath the surface as if they were going into hiding.   Around lunch time, I sat in my car and began to reflect on what these feelings meant.  Hey, I am a therapist for therapists so I think I know when I need to assess what is actually taking place within.  Be honest, have you done that or felt like this? I have which means this is the not the first time. 

During my time of reflection is was not so much about my feelings, but the fact that I was allowing my feelings to dictate my reality.  My reality is that I am in a great place in my life and have made great strides to reach many people.  My feelings wanted me to think and believe that I had not made any traction in my life, my career, or name it. This does not happen often, but when it does, it comes quickly and fast enough that I am unable to recognize what is taking place within.  

What took place in my car yesterday after I realized what was happening, what nothing short of amazing.  I realized that I had to remind myself of who I am, who I belong to, where I am and where I am going.  Even if I was not in a great place, it would be just as important to do the same so that I do not remain stuck.  Feelings (and thoughts) will trick you and cause you to believe that things are terrible.  Knowing that your reality is the true story, is the boost you need to gain strength to fight those feelings.  

Remember, that things and situations will come to test you, but rest assured, your reality will either jolt you into your next phase in life, or will give you the strength to fight to get out of any situation that seems too difficult.  Watch out for those feelings! We all have them! Keep pushing, keeping striving, and keep that spunk even when you don't feel it.  Happy Saturday!!!

Mindset is Everything


Walking into this week I was truly aware of the growing mound of work that awaits me.  Being a business owner and formerly having a leadership role, I understand the nature of this never stops. 

For a long time, many people would comment on my organizational skills and my ability to multi-task.  Others found it to be a mirror of who they wished they could be. 

In order to be effective one must have an effective mindset. According to Merriam Webster's Dictionary, the word effective means, "producing a decided, decisive, or desired effect" while, mindset means, "a mental attitude or inclination; a fixed state of mind."  When you marry these two together, it simply means that you have decided to walk in a mindset that ensures that you see a task through to the end resulting in success.  

This is not an unattainable goal. I get it, some people are not as organized as others. However, when it comes to achieving goals, you owe it to yourself to shift your thinking in order to take on that tasks ahead of you. You owe it to yourself and your dreams to accomplish your goals.  This can be done by creating "To-Do" lists, checklists, timelines, and identifying accountability partners (this means friends and colleagues you trust to hold you to task when you find yourself slipping). 

Tasks are the just the steps to help you move towards your goals. The most important part of this process if your mindset.  Think bigger, Think greater, Think success. Remember that failure is not an option and you possess the power to make success happen.  Please believe in you and watch the magic happen.  

-Selah (Pause. Reflect. Revive)


Effective. (2017). In Retrieved from

Mindset. (2017). In Retrieved from